Remembering The Passed
by TheEyeOfThePheonix
Summary: Todd remembers something that happened while Neil was still alive. Rated K for now, may continue with other DPS members.


AN: I know this might seem a bit like 'world's first unmanned flying deskset' scene but I just had to write it. I saw the ending of Diary of a wimpy kid (I blame my friend for making me go see it in the first place) where they were handing out yearbooks and immediately thought of this. It did seem better in my head but with getting the laptop out and loading it, a chunk of it surpassed my mind. And I've done 2 DPS uploads as I got the DVD today! Anyway, R&R please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dead Poets Society

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth  
Robert Southey

Remembering the passed

Todd's POV

We all stood in line waiting for them to hurry up. They were taking forever to pass over a few books. Knox moaned and groaned, saying how he could be spending this time with Chris – if Nuwanda or…Neil was here they would rib him for saying that. I'm sure we all muffled some laughter, we hadn't really laughed about much since… stuff happened – unless of course it was something too funny that we couldn't help but laugh.  
Finally we reach the table where a few of our top year boys were sat, they passed us those burgundy coloured yearbooks, I was immediately transported back to a year ago.  
Because, I remember something from that year, from before Neil…passed. I remember the yearbooks were published earlier that year, I don't know why, maybe they sensed something was going to happen (that would weirdly make them extremely right).

I remember receiving mine, knowing that there would be a picture of all of us from Mister Keating's class. I can remember sitting on my bed, back against the wall, flicking through the burgundy coloured hardback to find the page.  
I remember hearing Knox and Charlie hollering as they returned to their dorms. They didn't notice me as they passed our open door; I wasn't really shocked – I didn't expect them to notice me. Neil wasn't here either; he had a meeting or something with Mister Nolan.  
I remember seeing it and smiling – my first picture with me actually smiling a real smile – with real friends who didn't call you a freak to your face. They make think I am weird but they never picked on me.  
I remembered flicking the page back to see what was on the other side of that page. And I immediately wished I hadn't.  
There was a picture of me on my first day, sitting in assembly looking overwhelmed, extremely overwhelmed – my eyes like slits – you could never really see out of them, never see in them – I liked it like that. The picture held a caption underneath it, it read 'Sweaty-toothed madman', and yet again the whole 'how wonderful my life seems right now' charade collapses around me. My eyes dart around the room, to the window, to the door – thinking I would be able to see the culprits sneaking around, staring and laughing.  
I don't, and I don't want to do this – but I'm sure Neil will let me make a copy of his – but I have to. I know you might think it would be in everyone's yearbooks but I had a feeling it wouldn't be – when they were handing them out, one of the boys had said 'This is especially for you, one of a kind' I didn't think much of it then but now I know what they meant.  
And I have too.  
I grab Neil's lighter from his shelf, rip out the offending page and hold the lighter to the corner of it. The white paper looks dull and boring against the silver chrome of the Zippo. I'm just about to pull the trigger when I hear someone asking in disbelief "Todd?" I don't look at him, I just stare straight ahead. He hovers in the doorway, thinking for only a second before coming to sit on the edge of my bed. "You do know that's better for having a smoke with." he remarked, like he had momentarily forgotten what I was about to do – I think a small part of him wanted to eliminate this from his memories – I don't think he liked seeing me about to do this. He said this in all seriousness, mind you, and I almost wanted to laugh. I shook my head in reply; I didn't want anyone else thinking I was a freak. Maybe he thought I was a pyromaniac, I couldn't help but think what next year's slogan would be 'Nutty faced blazeman' possibly. "You know, if you don't like us, there are better ways of destroying us" He had obviously just realized what I was about to burn. I shook my head and he was perplexed. "O..Okayy," he laughed "' what were you going to do." Strained laughter protruded from his voice box. He wasn't demanding an answer like a parent would do but he was trying so I should really give him a line. I passed him the paper and he still looked perplexed. So I motioned turning it over and he did. He made an 'O' with his mouth. I think it clicked in his mind. He pulled out his yearbook and flicked through it, stopping on the exact same page, that picture protruding from it. "You know, to me, this reminds me of when the shy Todd left his cage and immersed himself into the world, like a butterfly would do,…but to some – it's…being able to get one up on you…on Mr. Keating…and you really shouldn't let them, you know – I know the DPS are going to take real good care of these misguided believers, don't you worry Todd."  
And yet again, like the 'world's first unmanned flying deskset' he had once again saved me from my troubles.

.

.

.

"Todd."  
"Todd!"

I just about hear Knox quietly shout at me. He nudges me out of my reverie. We move across the room to the door. "Todd…" He starts to say but can't go on. I know he knows what I was thinking about, I know all of us know, Pitts..-…-…-. We didn't talk, we just all shared an understanding look, and continued on with our daily routines…sadly for us, English was next – No Mr Keating and a boring class filled with statutory lectures on stuff that didn't sound remotely right. We didn't get English anymore… I wonder what the other guys remember?...

AN: I might continue this indefinitely, with other characters voicing their memories of 'lost scenes' that take place before and in the movie. Where I wrote 'I'm just about to pull the trigger' it refers to what happens later on.


End file.
